Today was Big A's first day of preschool. She LOVED it. Didn't give me a second look - just said "Bye Mum" and took off playing. I can't believe my little ex-27 weeker who weighed just 820gm at birth is now a big girl ready for preschool. She had a great time and is looking forward to going back next week (always a relief).
After dropping her off we came home as we had a day with NO appointments. I felt like I had so much time. I did craft with E, tidied and vacummed the house, hung out a load of washing, unpacked the dishwasher...and I wasn't rushed at all. Just pottered about and got it all done. Is this why my friends are all less stressed than me? Is this the key - actually having time to do things without rushing madly. It was all so orderly.
It felt a bit strange to go to preschool this morning and meet Big A's class and the other parents. This is the same class Little A will go into next year. I often feel a little conspicuous when I have Little A with me, I sometimes feel like "that mother" that everyone else looks at but doesn't want to be. But I have to confess that this morning I committed the cardinal special-needs-mummy sin. I was one of the mummies on the other side doing the judging. I saw another mother dealing with a very difficult child and I thought to myself -
I could never cope with that!
I can't believe after everything we've been through I can still think that about another child. I hate it when people think or say that about us. It shows that they are not seeing A for who she is and what she can do - they are only seeing the difficulties. And yet I still thought that about this little boy.
To that other mother - I am sorry. Hopefully I can get to know you while our children are in preschool together - and hopefully I can get to see your little boy for who he is, not for his behaviour.