Saturday, July 4, 2009


I love IKEA - they have a storage solution for everything! Today I got another 'expedit' which has to be my all time fave piece of IKEA...although it is a bit of a beast to put together. It holds SO much junk which makes it great for the kids toys. I am going to put it in Audrey's room now that the twins are getting separate rooms. Yes, it is a bit sad that I am separating them, but whenever Ashlea gets woken up during the night she thinks its time to play - and I just canNOT watch any more Teletubbies at 4 in the morning!

Anyway, the real reason for this post, is that my tidying / decluttering frenzy (which is only really a frenzy of mess at the moment) has sparked a rather big dilemma. Now that the girls are going into big beds, I have a spare cot. And a spare high chair. And change table. And many bags of baby clothes. And a breast pump, sterilizer, bottles, a bassinet. The list goes on. And I don't want any more babies. Simple solution right? Just flog it on Ebay.


We have 3 embryos in storage. Not just one, but THREE. I have been holding on to all my baby stuff "just in case" we use them one day. But I really don't want to have any more babies. I often don't cope with the ones I already have! To have more would be crazy. We can't afford them. We have no room for them. I couldn't cope with them.

But...I don't believe in destroying embryos. I know this is a very contentious topic, and I don't want anyone to feel that I am telling them what they should do with their embryos or pregnancies, but for me as a Christian, it is not an option to destroy them. The only ethical option I believe (for us) is to donate them to another infertile couple. In theory I am more than happy to do this, but there are so many 'what if's?' What if we had 3 more biological children out there that we never knew? What if they had a really awful life? What if they had a really great life, better than the children we have? What if 'something happens to one of my children' and I decide I do want another? ('Something happening to one of my children' is really code for 'what if Ashlea dies'...which is a fear that is always lurking somewhere in the back of my mind).

I just don't know what the RIGHT thing to do is. When we first started IVF I naively thought that if we ended up having leftover embryos we would just have more children than we originally planned on. I didn't foresee special needs, or the potential for 6 children!

So, I have this dilemma. Do I keep holding onto my baby stuff "just in case"? Should I consider having another baby? Would it push me over the edge completely??? Unfortunately there is no simple IKEA solution for this one.


Big brother, Little sister. said...

ALISON, great post. If only there was a simple solution! I too Love the Expedit! We need more! we need one in each room! I am also in the process of culling things and figure if I or anyone has a baby at some stage I will buy second hand and have some space in the meantime.

n0thingbuteverything said...

Wow. That's such a tough one Alison. I don't have any answers, but I think the solution might be that if you don't KNOW the answer, to wait a while. The answer will come to you!!! As for all the baby stuff clutter around the house, Bron is right. You can always get more later! Shopping for baby goods is one of the most fun things about having a new baby ;-).

Oh, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IKEA too. One of the most exciting things I am looking forward to when we FINALLY buy our first home is having an excuse to buy IKEA storage systems. Woohoo! ;-)

Belinda said...

Struggling myself... So no help, sorry!

Been to IKEA once and loved it! Time to go back.

Anna said...

That truly is such a dilemma. I also agree that the answer will come to you in time. Definately always good to go shopping for baby stuff again if you needed to.

I have never been to Ikea. Am desperate to go, but our closest one is 2 hours away. Will get there one day I hope!!