Not long after Emma was born I joined a Mother's Group through the local community centre. It has been a great way to meet other mums with children the same age as mine. At first I was a bit worried that MG would be a bit competitive - you know those mums who are always telling you what their child can do, and how advanced their child is compared to yours? Or how great their house / car / whatever is.
Thankfully our group didn't turn out to be like that at all. In fact ours is almost the opposite - if we were competitive it would be in terms of what can go wrong in life!
Out of our group so far:
- 3 of us have lost a parent
- one has secondary infertility
- one is currently going through chemo for breast cancer
- that same one's 5 year old daughter is losing her hearing
And then there is me...extremely premature twins, one left with lifelong disabilities.
Out of this list of shocking things that has happened, my friend N's breast cancer shocked me the most. That reminder of our human frailty and lack of control is what terrifies me as a parent. That is until now. Now something even more shocking has occurred within our little group. One friend's HUSBAND died unexpectedly on the weekend. Something to do with his aorta. Totally shocking. None of us would have expected when we first met that within 5 years one of us would have a child with multiple disabilities, one would have breast cancer and one would be a widow!!
I haven't spoken to her yet. I don't know what to say. "I'm sorry" just doesn't seem to cut it. From my experience with Ashlea though, I now feel that it is better to say something rather than nothing. Saying nothing is like pretending it all hasn't happened.
For those of you who read this who are pray-ers please keep this family in your prayers. Their son is due to start school next year, and my friend H has to now figure out life as a single mum while grieving for her husband.