Friday, February 19, 2010

Friday Five...

1.  Is it a full moon?  I have been SO irritable lately.  Everything is driving me crazy!  I think part of it stems from the grief I was talking about the other week.  The sad phase has passed for now and I'm just left feeling pissed off.  I'm not 'big picture' angry and thinking 'Why do I have a child with a disability?'.  I am 'little picture' pissed off.
  • Pissed off that its a hassle getting 3 children and a wheelchair in and out of the car every day for school and preschool drop offs. 
  • Pissed off that I have to spend so much time at appointments, which means the housework and washing backs up (which further pisses me off) and means I'm tired all the time
  • Pissed off that it is only week 4 of the school term and that means it is 6 weeks until school holidays
  • Pissed off at my children's behaviour
  • Really pissed off when I see myself mirrored in my children's behaviour.
  • Another thing that is really pissing me off is that our church is having a weekend away shortly.  It is not the weekend away itself that pisses me off, it is how difficult it is for us to participate in it.  They are having it at a wheelchair accessible venue, but that is the least of our difficulties.  Having to deal with an Ashlea meltdown in front of a bunch of people we harldy know (there are heaps of new people at church) is far more stressful than any phsyical access.  For some reason this weekend away has really unsettled me.  I would like to go.  I know with a lot of effort we could go.  I just don't feel that I have that kind of energy at the moment.  I feel like I would spend the whole time sticking out like a sore thumb and having to explain our situation or Ashlea's behaviour to people.  I already have school and preschool for that - I can't do it on my weekend too.
Sorry about that - just needed to have a little rant.  I try not too whinge too much on this blog (or in real life - although maybe some people may find that surprising!).  I am not a fan of whingers and try not to be one.  But I do feel better for getting that off my chest.

2.  No news on the car or the wheelchair. 

3. Ashlea continues to make slow progress after the swine flu vaccination that went wrong.  She is now crawling really well - not back to 100% but getting pretty close.  Still no W-sitting - although she is starting to 'frog' sit - on all fours but rocked back on her hind a frog.  Not much weight bearing on her legs yet though.  We see the physio on Monday.

4.  I have invited ALL the parents from Emma's class to my house for morning tea next week.  Am I crazy???.

5.  Today I actually took some photos on my camera using the manual settings.  Its very exciting to understand how it all works (well, some of the basics anyway).  For my photography course next week we are going on a night shoot in the city which should be great fun.  Anyway, here are a couple of today's will notice that not all of my subjects like to co-operate, so this is the best I could get.  Acutally none of my subjects like to co-operate.  Ashlea tries to crawl all over me while yelling "take a picture", Emma pulls faces and Audrey refuses to look at the camera unless bribed with chocolate - all of this is captured in the pictures below...






ferfischer said...

Hugs! I know how you feel, about being too tired to deal with organizing anything for yourself or the family that's fun. It just takes SO much work. Um, and it's ok to whine - if you can't whine here, where do you whine? And everyone deserves to complain sometimes!

Big brother, Little sister. said...

first things the manual setting! you will not go back to Auto I promise!
Yes that is mad having the whole parent/class over....but no doubt very worthwhile and lots of positives to come from it.
and YES it is damn hard lugging equipment around! it's all this exposure to mainstream settings that is so good for our kids but very hard on us at times.
Is there the option of attending the weekend for just one day? or even child free for an afternoon? or even writing a little blurb about the meltdown so no-one asks???? you could put in a disclaimer that if they do mention anything they can have her meltdown for the day!
good luck

n0thingbuteverything said...

Being pissed off can be healthy sometimes I reckon. A good way to work through issues, and as an old friend of mine always used to say, it's better than being pissed on ;-).

Bron has some good ideas about your weekend away. I can understand about the meltdown worries.Is a meltdown guaranteed? Or just possible. It would be a shame to miss out if it is going to be a great weekend. It could be just what you need. Thinking of you xo

Sarah said...

Very brave inviting them all over to yours...hope it goes well though.

I think you did a great job on the manual setting, I can't wait to see what photos you have once you start your course. I think it will be nice to have a little time to yourself doing that course.

I get your frustrations you mentioned. I think people at your church would be more understanding than what you might think.

Marie said...

I am glad you did your venting and I hope you are already feeling better.
Loved the pictures. Who needs willing subjects anyway?