Friday, March 26, 2010

Out of the mouths of babes...

Ashlea has a new sentence.

"I want the bridge"

(It's a Night Garden toy in case you're wondering)

The problem is that when she says it, it is more like this...

"Wan a bidge"

Say it out loud.

It sounds like she is saying "What a bitch".  She really emphasises the "Wan" and the "bidge" too, so she has the perfect intonation for "What a BITCH"

Murray came home from work yesterday, and picked up his little princess to kiss her and say hello.

What does she come out with?

"Wan a bidge"

I heard her say it from the other room.  There was a long pause and then came Murray's voice "Um, what did Ashlea just say???"  (He was of course thinking she must have learnt it from me.  Moi?  I would never use language like that*).

Once I explained that she was actually saying "I want the bridge" I was off the hook!

* OK, so I may not have been responsible for Ashlea saying what sounded like "What a bitch", but I could possibly be responsible for Audrey saying "bloody shit" when something went wrong for her.  Oops.  Bad mummy.  Funny though because I would never actually use that phrase!

In more 'Bad Mummy' news, we had parent teacher interviews this week.  Emma is loving school and doing really well except for one thing.  She does not shut up the whole day.  The teacher said her constant talking is driving her crazy - so much that she had to move Emma's desk further away so she couldn't hear her!!

The rest of the interview went like this...

Teacher:  "Have you put the sight words on cards and are you using them at home?"

Me: "Is that those list of words you gave us?  No.  I lost them"

Teacher:  "Now, do you remember you have to make a crown for Friday?"

Me: "Um...No...Can I write this down?"

I think I failed kindergarten parenting!  Are they trying to drive us parents crazy with all the stuff we have to remember???

Anyway, after the interview I suggested to Emma that maybe she could try and talk a little bit less in class.  Or at least talk to her friends rather than try and have a running dialogue with the teacher all day.  Yesterday she managed to be quiet and got a class award for "being quiet today".

She's a cunning little chook though.  She loves getting those awards, so has worked out a plan to get more of them.  She told me she was going to be noisy one day, and then quiet the next (so she'd get an award).  Then noisy the next day, then quiet again (to get another award), and so on.  We'll see how long it takes for the teacher to cotton on to that!


Sarah said...

That is a very cunning plan indeed by Emma!

I know what you mean about words sounding like swears, but in our case Violet says the word for real like Audrey.

n0thingbuteverything said...

Thanks so much for this post Alison! It made me laugh out loud several times. Love your kids and love your sense of humour.

I love Emma's plan to be awarded often!! I hope it pans out well for her ;-).

AND I think you should put off buying the ITNG bridge just for a little while so you can keep enjoying the way it sounds... S has a very pearls that we often get wrong too...

BUT on a more serious note, I am so THRILLED that Ashlea is working so hard with her speech - all these independent requests are BRILLIANT!!!

ferfischer said...

I have no idea, but I can tell you this - because I'm a silly American, I LOVE reading your posts because you use language like "bloody shit" and "cunning little chook" and "cotton on to that." All fun new language for me to confuse people with! Especially cunning little chook - what a fun phrase!

Susan, Mum to Molly said...

I love it! I thought Ashlea might be asking to go back to the Harbour Bridge!? Hehehe...

Also love Emma's cunning plan. I too remember feeling very frustrated in 'our' first year at school how badly they communicated with us, expecting the kindy kids to pass on info verbally, etc.

Personally I think you and your girls are all doing a fantastic job. Miss Molly has a few naughty words, which she loves to incorporate into songs: "how I wonder what you poo poo..."

Alison said...

Oh dear - Jenny - I think I need to clear up for you what is 'real' Australian slang and what is just made up by me!

Bloody shit is NOT a commonly used term in Australia - just one that Audrey made up of words she heard...somewhere.

"Cunning little chook" is one I made up myself - but "chook" is regularly used here in all sorts of ways. It is slang for chicken, but you can also call a person a chook (in certain circumstances).

"Cotton on to" is a 'real' phrase as far as I know.

I hope that helps you confuse your friends!

Belinda said...

Gold Alison! Love it! xx.

MaggieMae said...

That's hysterical, especially the part about failing parenting kindergarten. That's me all the time. No one asks about all I accomplished but they never fail to inquire about the 1 (or 5) thing(s) I didn't get to. All the things they (the educators/therapists) think we have time to do in between all the extra stuff we have to do already anyway... and we just keep right on trying, trying trying. I think we moms of children with special needs are the original "women who do too much".

MaggieMae said...

BTW - My mom's hubby has CP. His folks were told he wouldn't walk or talk and he did not only both of those things but drove, went to college, earned his masters degree in rahabilitation counseling and worked in social services to support himself and my mom until he retired several years ago. He's recently finished writing/publishing his first novel. He's married to a "typical" able-bodied person (my mom) for 25 years. Highly intelligent, good person who happens to have CP. Good story! Have faith... Your Ashlea's will be too!