That your child hates them but you don't have the heart to tell them?For me, there is one thing that I think Ashlea's therapists forget, and it actually has nothing to do with Ashlea herself. Sometimes, I think, the therapists forget that we, the parents are grieving. Especially in the early days (and by early days I mean at least the first 3 or 4 years!).
That you have no intention of doing the homework they have prescribed you?
That you think what they are doing is a waste of time?
They forget that what for them is a job, for us is our child. Our lives.
Who else has sat through an IEP/IFSP meeting looking calm and serene on the outside, but on the inside your brain is screaming:
Not my child.
Not like this.
I used to feel like this all the time - especially when we attended the RIDBC. I think because that was the first service we attended, and some of the children there have pretty significant disabilities. I remember we would be there, and all the therapists and parents would be chatting and smiling and acting normally. All I could think was this isn't normal.
Not my Ashlea. Not like this.
As time has gone on, this feeling has diminished, but it still strikes me as odd that grief is the big taboo that no one talks about. Of all the seminars and topics of discussion put on by the centres we attend, none has ever covered the topic of grief.
I often wonder when I see new parents, if they are struggling to hide their tears like I used to. If they are having those same thoughts I was.
Not my child.
We don't belong here.I would like Ashlea's therapists to remember from time to time, that as a parent I still grieve for what could have been. I don't know how they would show that they were aware of that - especially as I probably wouldn't outright tell them. But maybe just a little acknowledgement of what us parents go through. Just occasionally.
How did this happen to us?
What do you think your child's therapists should know?