At church today, the guy who was preaching mentioned that he and his wife had just found out there might be a problem with their unborn baby. He was talking about how in our weakness we can trust God (it being church and all). Something he said struck me, as it is something I myself said only days before being diagnosed with TTTS. He said that there was no guarantee God would give them a healthy baby.
Very true. There are no guarantees about anything in this life - although as Christians God does guarantee to be with us through every situation. I myself said those words early on in the TTTS journey. At the time I said them with much trepidation.
I think now that I've been on this journey for awhile, I would add something to that statement. Now I would say: There is no guarantee that God will give me a healthy baby - and that is OK.
I don't even know what I mean by that exactly - it is just something I feel very strongly about! I don't mean that I think it is OK that Ashlea is disabled - because in some ways I will never be OK with that, but in other ways I accept her 100% as she is. I love her AS SHE IS. I am OK about this journey we are on. I'm not angry or bitter or resentful. There are actually lots of great things I have discovered along this journey. I have learnt about what is really important in life. I have learnt about unconditional love. I have met some amazing children and their parents. I have learnt that quality of life is different to what I thought it was. I have learnt about what it means to focus on the unseen rather than the seen.
Am I alone in feeling this way??? I am really curious to know how other parents feel about this. Do you think good things have come from your experience? Do the good things outweigh the bad? Or is the bad so bad that no amount of good can make up for it?
I suspected that the parents-to-be weren't ready to hear any of this, but I did make a point of talking to them after church, as I feel like what is the point going through something like this if you can't help someone else?