Sunday, February 20, 2011

And so we wait

We are almost half way through the wait to see who has the best cross match for Ashlea's kidney transplant.  They said it would take about 10 working days.  I am going to call them on Friday 'just in case' the results are back, but I don't really expect to hear anything until the following week.

I don't feel like it is on my mind all the time, but I have been waking up at 4am feeling like someone is sitting on my chest.

So, I guess that shows that it is on my mind.

How do you cope with stress???

I internalise it.  Or attempt to anyway.  Stuff it all in and don't talk about it and then feel like my chest could explode from holding it all in.

At the moment there is kidney stress, money stress, marriage stress, school choice stress, appointment overload stress, time management stress, you name it - we've got it stress.  All stuffed in.

I ran out of room a long time ago - but still I try and stuff it all inside.  I think I'm going a little nuts actually.  I am SO irritable and moody.  Snapping at everyone.  Not wanting to be around anyone.  Not behaving like someone people would want to be around either.

Clearly I need a better coping strategy.

Any tips?

9 comments:

The Taylor Family said...

chocolate!? I am also very good at internalising it all but am very good at covering it up with chocolate! Can't quite imagine what it must be like waiting for those results and I really don't have a lot of constructive advice but hang in there. I do find even 30 minutes out of the house to myself doing something totally unrelated to anything (very rare occasions!) does help. Rach xoxo

Belinda said...

Oh Alison, wish I could come and knock off that person sitting on your chest! Hey, get a punching bag and knock the crap out of it!

No suggestions here that don't involve food or alcohol.

Wishing this week flies by quickly.

Love to you. xx.

n0thingbuteverything said...

Exercise.
I took up running last year. Just leaving the house for 20 minutes and heading out on my own gives me a bit of breathing space and I find that I work my way through problems both because of doing the exercise and because there are no interruptions.
It doesn't have to be running. It could be walking, swimming or whatever.
Having said that, I am not stress free, just stress relieved, a little xo

Sarah said...

Yes I too internalise. Not sure how else to cope with stress really.

I have been thinking of you everyday Alison with this wait and what faces you ahead, must be so very overwhelming.

If you get a skerrick of time to yourself, maybe you should do something for YOU...I know we never do this but others tell me it is a great way to de-stress.

Big brother, Little sister. said...

Alison, I have been thinking about you guys a lot with the kidney stress and am sorry that there is a heap of other stresses at the minute that seems very overwhelming.
I like Di's idea of leaving the house even for 20 mins- I would choose coffee or choc over exercise but each to their own!
I think you just have to force yourself to have some time just for you, set it in your calendar, make sure there are no distractions or excuses.
How about another camera course?
I think there will always be those extra stresses it's just how you deal with them as such.
Much love to you xo

Lacey said...

I fear I cope a lot like you. I get cranky and snappy, and it makes my hubby crazy! If you get any great ideas let me know!

Love Ella said...

oh alison i don't know exactly how you feel but i have a pretty good idea i think...i know people mean well but i am sick of hearing "Do something for yourself, go out for a cup of coffee!" I mean really, as if that will change anything...i think the thing that people don't get is that it doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing this stuff doesn't leave you, you can't walk away for 20 minutes, it just doesn't work like that...much love M

Missy said...

I dont know what helps stress when you are clearly living a stressful life, unfortunately not only are you a busy working Mum of three beautiful girls, but also with a child with multiple special needs and a transplant of all things on the horizon...what can you do to possible deal with that stress and would it actually work anyway?

I dont know Alison, I just dont. I know that I internalise everything and kind of disappear and withdraw a little bit. I have a few friends who recognise this sign now, so its almost impossible for me to retreat now!

I guess the only way to help is to NOT internalise it all on your own. Share and REALLY share. Counselling?

I wish your stress levels were a little less or rather a LOT less for you. Big hugs xxx

ferfischer said...

You know how I cope? I blog about it. Or I make something. Like sew or cook. You'd think our house would be perfect by now, but the truth is I'm not really good at any of those things. Honestly, we drink wine every night. Just one glass makes a big difference. And I hide out by myself. Hang in there.