Friday, March 25, 2011

That's so exciting

Everyone keeps telling me how exciting it is that I am a good kidney match for Ashlea.

Don't get me wrong - it is a huge relief to know we have this option and I am happy that I can give Ashlea this gift - but I don't feel excited about it.

Should I?

Mostly I just feel stressed.

I can't believe we actually have to go through this.

We've got to actually LIVE it.

It's interesting seeing people's reactions.  Some people still fail to grasp how big this is.

It's BIG big.

I can barely grasp how big it is and I'm in the middle of it.

It's one thing to have in the back of your mind that one day your child will need a kidney transplant, but when it becomes a reality that it is happening now it is still a lot to take in.

It still shocks me that this is happening to us.  Isn't this what happens to other people???

How did we get here?


Belinda said...

Alison, I agree that exciting isn't the right word.

This is huge, HUGE actually!

I think it's great you are able to do it, but it's not just a everyday thing.

I am sure you will prepare as much as you can possibly can, and it won't be excitement you will be feeling.

Hoping you will have the support you will all need during this time and wish I could just pop up to help out.

Love to you all. Xx

Big brother, Little sister. said...

Alison, I find those moments bizarre when you stop and think how on earth am I living this life and how did I get here?! It is fantastic that you can donate to Ashlea but the enormity of it is no doubt overwhelming. I hope that the hospital has some fantastic emotional support available for you and your whole family xo

Kat said...

It is great news about the match but I can definitely see why excitement would not be forefront in your mind. It is not an everyday thing- not something you just go "yeh okay I will do it." It's a huge thing to do, an intricate procedure with lots of hurdles to cross and to be in the middle of it is something I think a person who has never been in that sort of situation would find to really know. If there is anything we can do, even a small thing in any way, let me know :)

Sarah said...

Oh for sure...words can not describe the enormity of this all!

But I also know you are stronger than what you may realise...I think it is totally normal for you to feel stressed about this.

Thinking of you all x

Anna said...

Mmmm. I know what you mean I think. I am pretty sure that I would be feeling exactly like you if we were facing the same thing. It is exciting to think that you all have this opportunity. But the reality will be FAR from it.
Take each day at a time. One step at a time. You will go through a million different emotions between now and the recovery time. Don't be afraid to express them.
I agree with Sarah. You are stronger than you think.