Saturday, February 18, 2012

Day 42 - Reflections

I have been reflecting on our first two weeks of Big School.

What a success.  All 3 of my girls are very happy in their classes.

Ashlea in particular has taken to school 'like a duck to water'.  She has truly amazed me.  She loves going to school and in particular she loves being in the classroom doing school work - she loves the stimulation.

It struck me the other day that the start to school has been very different to previous transitions we've gone through.  When Ashlea and Audrey started preschool the grief for 'what might have been' was very strong.  The sadness of what we had been through rose to the surface.  The grief over what we were yet to go through was present.  Also the feeling of being just so damn conspicuous drove me nuts - I felt like everyone knew who we were even though I didn't know anyone else - because we stood out with all our equipment.

This time it was completely different.  I didn't have any sense of sadness over what could have been - this time there was just delight and amazement with what is.

Delight in Ashlea's progress.

Joy, wonder and amazement at how far she has come.

And hope for the future.  For so long I worried that Ashlea wouldn't live long enough to go to school. Starting school somehow seemed to signify that Ashlea is indeed stronger than I think and has much to look forward to in her future.

This is the first big transition where the grief monster hasn't reared it's ugly head.

This time I was just able to savour the moment - and revel  in how far Ashlea has come.  It has been an amazing six years and God has been very good.

Starting school has gone so much better than I could have ever imagined and I have been able to put that big scary operation completely out of my mind.  Ashlea and Murray both have kidney appointments this week so I'm guessing cold hard reality is going to burst my bubble - but I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

Oh and yes the photo is relevant to today's ramblings.  Can you work out what it is?  Murray couldn't work it out - but I think I've given plenty of hints...


Sarah said...

I agree, amazing the progress Ashlea has/is making.

So great to hear the first 2 weeks of school have been a positive experience.

Simone said...

I've done so well, i haven't bawled reading your blog in ages! Tears of joy xo you can also explain things so well stuff I feel aswell and that helps me. josh has gone to preschool and loves it but all the explaining and justifying stuff annoys me I have to tell people so much stuff it takes it's toll. I also get the feeling of joy over fear, that shift is a nice one, you can write so well! 

Missy said...

It is so exciting to hit a transition and have such beautiful positive emotions, focusing on the amazing progress that your beautiful Ashlea has made.

I am so glad that starting school has been better than you imagined.

LOVE your pic, amazing!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad the girls love school.

Is the picture a bubble or is it a Christmas bauble?

from Fay

Alison said...

It's a bubble.