The last 8 days - the last 6 in particular - have been unbelievable.
Who could believe something like this would happen? And why to us? WHY TO US??? Haven't we already had enough crap to deal with?
Murray is one of the good guys. He is a good and kind man. This was a good and kind thing that he did - he gave his daughter a kidney. He gave her life. And in doing so he risked his own.
This morning I have a case of the 'what if's'.
What if his kidney doesn't recover?
What if his brain doesn't recover?
What if I don't get my husband back the way he was before?
What if I end up having to care for him as well?
What are you doing God???
I know it's too early to panic. Murray has only just woken up from his sedation and there is still plenty of time for him to recover and his doctors are still hopeful of a good recovery - but would any of you be able to walk the same path as me and not think 'what if'.
I know that God is still in control of all things - including this - but seriously, I have no idea what He is doing. Hopefully in time I will be able to look back and see God's good plan in all of this, but right now it is very hard to see.
Please keep praying - for Murray to make a full recovery. For Ashlea to continue in her great recovery. And for me to have the strength to keep caring for both of them.