Sunday, April 29, 2012

Weekend Update

Yesterday was a beautiful autumn day in Sydney.  I was able to bring Murray home for a few hours and we sat outside in the backyard and ate lunch in the sun while the kids ran around.  It was a lovely time - just the way things should be on a sunny Saturday afternoon!

Today Ashlea had the day off bloods so I was able to go to church for the first time since 'it' all happened.  Just quietly I was a little stressed about going - it's hard to be around people at the moment - especially large groups of them - but the longer I don't see people the harder it gets to see people again if that makes sense.  So I decided to rip the bandaid off and just do it.

It's funny because while I am living this crazy life I can cope with all sorts of crazy things like rehab and doctors and appointments, I just can't do the ordinary, everyday things like grocery shopping, school drop off and church.  It is so hard to do the 'normal' things when everything else in my life is so NOT normal.

Sound crazy??

I'm sure those of you who have been through similar things can relate!

Anyway I went to church and it was OK but hard too.  Hard because its such a normal thing to do when life is definitely not normal.  Especially hard because it is something we would usually try do as a family.

I was hoping to take the girls to visit Murray this afternoon but I have been feeling quite dizzy this afternoon.  I'm not sure if it was my 'regular' dizziness (I have Meniere's so do get struck down from time to time) or if it is stress related.  Seeing as we have been through the wringer over the last 4 weeks there is a good chance it is stress related - and unfortunately there is no immediate end in sight to the stress.

I feel guilty for not going to visit Murray but I figured it probably wouldn't help the situation if I drove off the road into a ditch while dizzy - with the kids in the car.  Instead we have had a quiet afternoon at home - I have spent most of it lying on the couch with the girls creating carnage around me.

Please keep praying for us.  I am starting to feel the strain of juggling everything.  I'm stressed. I'm sad.  I'm over it.  But we still have a long way to go and the last thing we need is for me to fall into a dizzy heap.  Or any kind of heap!


Anonymous said...

You do not know me but I have been following your story and standing with all the other prayful folk who have had the honour of being a tiny part of your amazing story. Our God is great indeed and will give you the strength to keep going and we all pray that "normal" life will be yours sooner than you think. Love Julie

Anna said...

Thinking of you Alison. You are amazing. I hope you can get a break soon. You need to take care of yourself too in amongst everything. Easier said than done though.

Anonymous said...

You are so on the mark with having difficulty doing the ordinary when life is crazy. You will eventually get back to doing the ordinary even if life continues to be crazy. It all seems to settle into a new order!

What a lovely photo of Murray and Ashlea enjoying some family time.
Take care of yourself as much as you can.
Continuing to pray,

Sarah said...

Alison, thinking of you all Hope life starts to get easier for you all very very soon, much love to you all x

Big brother, Little sister. said...

alison you are seriously such a legend !!! You are in my thoughts every moment xxx

Anonymous said...

You dont know me either, but following your story via my SIL Belinda. Had a tear or two when things got hairy back there, and kept my fingers crossed for you all as well. You are a stronger person than I ever thought I could be. You write so well, we all feel there with you. Hang in there, maybe a vitamin B shot would help you? I had one when I was stressed with a break up, and it worked miracles. Look after yourself, and I look forward to hearing you are feeling much better. You dont have time to fall apart now. You're a MUM!!!! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Please give Murray my best wishes.

Kind Regards

Peter Glover

Missy said...

Sometimes I think that its almost "post event" that is harder than "the event
" itself, if that makes sense?
You are now faced with many things, like juggling Ashlea's blood tests, visiting Murray and trying to return to the normal daily grind when at the moment things are far from normal.

I will continue to pray for you, to stay strong and to manage financially. I pray for YOUR good health, good sleep and the ability to carry on. Oh Alison I am thinking of you all constantly and I so wish I was closer so I could help you with pick ups, drop offs and babysitting!


Anonymous said...

Alison, it took me a while to catch up with all that has happened. I am so sorry to hear that your lives have become so much more complicated (at least in the short term)and for all the pain and trials you are facing. Dave and I are praying for you all - for strength, wisdom, patience, health, faith, love and practical support and also compassionate and helpful medical staff. The women in my 3 different bible study groups have adopted you as an honourary member and we will keep praying for you all (some who also prayed for you and the twins years ago too).
Not only are you in the "post event" stage ( and you will need time and energy to process all of that) but you are also in the "what if.." stage as you look to the future and also try to keep up with the very demanding present. Keep being patient with yourself and try to take it a day at a time. Matt6:33 Your Heavenly Father Knows (what) you not worry about tomorrow..Each day has enough trouble of its own" love and prayers, Ruth