Sunday, May 6, 2012

I still believe

I have been wondering if you all have been wondeirng what I think about everything that has happened.  If I watched someone else go through all this I'd certainly be wondering what they thought about it all!

So here is what I think.

I think I still can't really believe what has happened and I think it is kind of crazy that all this STUFF has happened to little old us.  

In spite of that though I still believe that God is in control.  If He really is the God who holds the entire universe in His hands He is also in control of this.  He could have prevented Murray from aspirating - but He didn't.  He could have prevented Murray from being found for another 10 or 20 minutes - when it would have most likely been too late - but He didn't.  He has allowed (chosen even) for this to happen.

Other than that I don't know what to think.  I don't know why this has happened.  It's one of those unanswerable questions.  WHY?  I don't know.  But I am going to keep trusting the God who is in control of all the events of our lives.  As much as I know there are some people who could not believe in God BECAUSE of events like these - I can't NOT believe. I can't imagine getting through something like this without having the hope that comes from being a Christian - without the hope of heaven - and knowing that one day all the suffering of this life will be OVER AND DONE WITH. 

Please keep praying for us - for Murray and Ashlea's recoveries and also for Murray and I to have soft hearts to whatever it is that God is doing in our lives.  You could also pray for me too as I drive to and from the hospital in my current distracted state - today I ran a red light on the way there and then nearly reversed into someone on the way home. Oops.


Shelley Harding said...

Hi Alison. You don't know me but I have been reading your blog via a friend Kim Simms who comments on your posts. Today in church I thought all about you as our sermon was on "having a faith that sticks". Tonight I just read your latest blog and that is exactly what you emulate. All we can do is trust God and have faith in his plan because there are no answers that will satisfy us. Thank you for your truthful ,open, real posts. I have cried a lot for you. I pray for you and your gorgeous family everyday.

Julie and Jayden's Adventures said...

Amen to all you've said and still praying!

Susan, Mum to Molly said...

Have been thinking of you+++ Alison (especially when yr blog is quiet) - which in my world is as good as prayer.

I'm relieved you still have your faith (and maybe that book?) to give you some strength and help you through.

The bad news from me is that Wendy has a cold, sorry. I will come on Thursday when she is at preschool, and will be glad to do the driving.

Huge hugs, Susan xx

Anna said...

I wish I could offer you more than words. If I lived nearby I would be over in a flash to do...something, anything. You may never learn the reason you have all gone through this. But then again, it may present itself sometime in the future. If nothing, you all have an incredible strength and prove to everyone else following your blog and in real life that unconditional love exists.

Marc David Bonagura said...

Thank you so much for writing this blog.

Linda said...

I have been following your blog for a bit but never commented. As a pediatric health care provider, I have learned so much from your blog about many things, including what it is like to parent a child with disabilities. You have made a difference in how I see my patients and families ( in a very positive way), and I thank you for that. I think about you often and hope and pray that things get better for Murray. I am so glad Ashlea is doing well and that the kidney is doing well, as I am sure you are.

macarisms said...

Alison, your honesty is helpful. James chapter 1 comes to mind when I read reflections. Let me share a little anecdote.

Years ago friends of ours were given a book on suffering for their wedding! They (and many others) thought it a very strange wedding gift. But they read it. Years later they lost their little baby girl, and it was THAT book that prepared them to turn to God in their grief. The book is called How Long, O Lord by Don Carson. You might also find it encouraging.

Marie said...

Still praying for all of you! I believe right along with you! God is in control. He's got this and we may never understand all the why's but he's got this!

Tasmanian said...

God bless you guys. God is good, all the time. Thanks for your honesty. May you know the peace that passes understanding.