Tuesday, July 10, 2012

July 10: Emma

Emma wanted to have a turn being the photo of the day - so here she is making cake pops.

Yes - I  did cooking with my children!  That is twice this year - which means surely I don't have to do it again for another 6 months?

Emma is still doing her feeling sick and panicky thing most nights of the week - it has been a month now.  Even though I think I probably do need to take her to see someone I am still worried that it will make things worse if I do. 

Just quietly her anxiety is setting mine off too.  Seeing her so anxious makes me feel anxious - which is very frustrating as I thought my anxiety had been much better lately.  It is kind of discouraging to think that even though I am now in my 40's I am still at the mercy of this anxiety when it attacks.

Some days I really can't wait for heaven!


Anna said...

Argh. Anxiety. I hate it. I see my kids experiencing it too and feel powerless. I guess the thing we do is to try not to make a big deal of it. Hard work sometimes though. Love the photos you are posting!

Louise said...

Hi Alison, we haven't met but I have left a comment before. I have kids who have experienced anxiety in different ways quite a bit and since you asked for some advice a while back and it's still an issue I hope you don't mind my 2 cents worth. One of the hardest things about anxiety I think is that we can't tell them everything will be all right because it might not be. As Christians we know and can be comforted that in the big picture everything will be great but in the mean time . . . Not always, which both you and you kids (and our family also) know full well. Some things that have helped at different times with my kids anxiety:
Not answering their questions more than once, i found this a real challenge but realised if i answered the same question (even when they rephrase it) it says to them, she is answering me again, so it must be a good question and worth worring about. At the begining I would say, I have already answered that, can you remember what I said, then help them to talk to them selves with helpful phrases.
having a routine- especially around the thing that makes them anxious and then as they get better, help them to cope with the routine changing
Every night at bed time they have to tell me 5 things about the day they are thankful for, they have to be different every day but if the first one is- I have great parents - that one can be the same every day- they think this is very funny and it helps them get in the right mood to think of the next one. Often I need to help them with the first ones but then their mood change and they can think of them themselves.
My oldest (from 11ish) understands the concept that there are always positive and negative thoughts going through our minds and some times we grab hold of the negative ones and think them over and over and just let the positive ones go by without paying them much attention at all. We need to not worry that the negative ones are there but look for the positive thoughts, grab hold of them and repeat them to ourselves.
Our school councillor has been very helpful with different things and good for referring us on when needed. We have been to John Blythe Child Psychology in blacktown and would highly recommend them and have heard some very good things about a child anxiety course for kids 7 to 12 ish at Macquarie University. The most helpful thing about all these hasn't been the 'theraphy' for the kids but rather helped me understand anxiety in kids and given me ways to help them cope and eventually manage it themselves. In fact John Blythe CP see the parents by themselves the first time and then told me sometimes they don't need to see the kids at all, just help the parents manage.
In my experience, talking about, and getting help with the anxiety has never made it worse but has helped, but sometimes another 'appointment is the last thing we need. They have found it helpful for me to acknowledge they are really worried, (sometimes it takes a while for them to know I really 'get' it) and then to know I care about them but that I am not worried myself about it or if I am, I have a plan and can deal with it.
I am praying for you as you manage day to day, and that Murray would begin to be able to initiate things, and thanking God for your church family. Thank you for encouraging, and inspiring us out here in blog land.

Anonymous said...

The cooking looks and sounds yummy.
Love from Fay

Anonymous said...

I had never heard of cake pops but have seen these once or twice. Now I will have to try it with my boys.
I'm sorry the anxiety continues for Emma on many nights (and for you), it can be so difficult. It does seem to rear it's ugly head sometimes. I think I mentioned that I had anxiety/panic attacks every time I went in the car for more than a km or so, every time I had to stop at lights I started to panic. Went on for about 2 - 3 years, had to pull over everywhere. It was hard because I love to drive, go everywhere. I continued to pray many times even though I felt that nothing was changing, but I knew that God cared about me. Finally I realised I was OK, in fact the OK-ness snuck up on me.
I know that everyone is different, though. I will pray for Emma and for you and for wisdom about what you can do to help her.
love Julie K