Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Why I Write {Writing Prompt}

Why do I write?

Hmmm.  That is an interesting question.

When I first started this blog it was because I wanted to record our journey with Ashlea and keep our family and friends up to date with her progress.

Writing then became a great way to meet other parents of children with special needs.  In the early days I didn't know many other people who were in a similar situation to us so blogging was a great way to connect.  It was also a great support as I was still traumatized by our NICU experience and overwhelmed with sadness over all that we had been through and all that lay ahead.

Over time though things have changed.

I'm no longer in that early grieving phase - I feel like we're over the worst of the adjustment period in regard to disability (I really hope there's nothing around the corner to trip me up but it feels like we're over the worst of it!).  Now that Ashlea's transplant is over there is also much less vital news to tell people.  Ashlea for the most part is thriving - and while I love sharing that with everyone - her day to day goings on aren't vital information that people need to know!

I don't say much on here about Murray's brain injury - partly for privacy reasons and partly because now that there are lawyers involved I need to be careful.  I would love to give you my opinion on what I think happened on the night of Murray's injury but I just don't know if that is wise!  Similarly I don't know if it is fair on Murray to tell you in detail about his difficulties - which during holiday time appear to include an inability to keep track of what day of the week it is and enormous difficulty following the plot of Once Upon A Time - although he may not be alone there.

So - that leaves me with the question "why write?".  What's the point if there are so many 'off-limits' topics?  Has this blog run it's course?  Are people still happy hearing about Ashlea's day to day happenings?  I know I am still interested in reading other people's blogs - particularly those of people who live in bizarro world like we do - I would hate to lose the sense of community I have with those families.

I don't know why I keep writing but for now I'm going to keep at it because I love that through this blog I have a detailed record of our lives.  One thing I have learnt since Murray's brain injury is how fluid and fragile memory can be.  This blog serves as a memory vault for our experiences - and I'm not ready to give that up yet.

{Ellen Stumbo's Writing Prompt}

9 comments:

Big brother, Little sister. said...

I love reading all your words along with your humor it lights up my day. I understand the off limit topic and could write a blog just about that journey itself! Hang in there and much love to you.

Missy said...

I am so glad that I met you and your beautiful family through the world of blogging!
I am glad you keep blogging and look forward to your post each day (no pressure!!!)
You are so right you know, what a wonderful record of your memories and daily life x x x

Sara Duggan said...

My entrance into blogging isn't so amazing, just wanted a place to record my crafting.
I'm amazed at the strength of the women I've seen through this little writing prompt. I don't think I'd be so brave in telling my story - at least not in a public space.
Thanks for visiting my blog - now that I found you, I'm excited to read your archives.

Eiluv2Write said...

I read your blog everyday! It's wonderful - and i'm jealous of the weather you are having! it's snowy and cold where i live.
I follow a few other blogs of parents with children with special needs. My son,Anthony, has Down Syndrome. I don't necessarily blog about my family and our life with Anthony.

hevvakroll@gmail.com said...

There is something intrinsically human about the need for community, the need to share. I love reading your posts. I am often struck by your fortitude and inspired in the process. This last year has been a tsunami of pain for the Austin family and I am glad that I have joined you in prayer in that storm, albeit from a distance. We are held afloat by God's love in the storm of our lives. Keep on keeping on and keep looking out for the rainbows.
Heather

Ellen Stumbo said...

I also write because I believe in community, and as special needs parents we need to be reminded that we are not alone! So keep writing!

The Trousdell Five said...

I like the way you write too :)

Anonymous said...

I for one love logging on and seeing that you have written something. Its like an oppurtunity to learn about your family and Ashlea and your world without feeling like a burden on a family and havving to ask questions. I honestly love reading about your family. Not just the medical stuff but how you manage to keep rolling along.

Melissa said...

I love catching up with your 'bizarro' world and knowing that we are not alone with our own 'bizarro' world. I sincerely hope that you get the support you need and deserve regarding Murray's terrible experience. BTW you made me LOL with the 'Once upon a time' comment.