I have spent the last year since Murray's brain injury adjusting to 'the way things are'. Once again I have had to adapt to a new normal.
For the most part I have just gotten on with things. I cope because that's what I do - I'm a coper. I get through the day, my kids get to school, they get fed, do their homework - everything gets done (more or less).
After some encouragement I recently went to see a psychologist. I'm not an overly enthusiastic patient as I really don't see how it will help that much. Is she going to come and live my life for me? Is she going to parent my children? Or better still mind them so I can get some respite?? Unlikely.
Anyway I went along and had to do one of those tick a box questionares to check for depression and anxiety. I filled it out on a fairly typical day. Not a day when I was feeling particularly stressed or overwhelmed by things - just an ordinary day. A regular, typical, feeling OK kind of day.
Anyone want to guess my scores?
On any ordinary day in the new normal apparently I score moderately for depression, severe for stress and extreme for anxiety.
And that's a good day.
The question that obviously comes out of this is - how do I do this long term? How do I keep coping, keep getting everything done that needs to get done - for the next 5, 10, 15, whatever years?
How do I keep doing it AND be happy? How do I do it and not score at all for depression or stress or anxiety? Or is that not even possible?
For those of you who are also in it 'for the long haul' how do you do it? Do you have a strategy? A plan for the long term? Until now my plan has been just to take it one day at a time - maybe now is the time to start thinking about how to do that when all those one at a time days run endlessly into each other.