Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Writing Prompt: I'm Holding On

It's been awhile since I've written a post about me and how I'm doing - but how could I pass up Ellen's writing prompt this week?  It sums up exactly how I am:

I'm holding on.

The last 18 months have been incredibly difficult.  What should have been a triumph - Ashlea's successful kidney transplant - has been forever marred with the stain of Murray's brain injury.

I've been angry.  And bitter.  I've questioned God.  And everyone who's crossed my path.  In essence I have been out in the spiritual wilderness.  Dry and brittle.  Hardened.  Numb.  Dead inside.

But.

In spite of all this I am holding on.  Or rather God is holding on to me.

Over the last few months He has been slowly reviving me.  Thawing out my cold, hard heart. Waking me up.  Returning feeling to my soul.

Don't think for a moment that 'I'm there' yet.  Far from it.  This is only the beginning - these are just baby steps.

It may even be too arrogant to say 'I'm getting there' because I could so easily slip back at any moment.

But I am holding on.  Holding on to God as best I can.  And remembering that He hasn't stopped holding on to me.


John 10:28-29  My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.



Ellen Stumbo: Writing Prompt

4 comments:

Lee said...

God always has you. Even when our grip begins to slip, He grabs us and carries us. Baby steps are how He works best. Keep at it and pour all you feel out to Him.

melissa date said...

Don't ever underestimate your amazing resilience. You have been able to do things for your family, source services and stretch budgets in ways that most people could never even comprehend.

Richard said...

I agree with the others, reading your blog for the first time the other week, It was clear to me that God has been powerfully active and given you the resilience and strength you needed when you needed it. Keep holding on Alison :)

the redhead said...

I had noticed that your blogging had diminished since Ashlea's transplant. So glad to see this post.