Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Thankfulness Dec 3

Do you ever have days that remind you that you have absolutely no clue what you're doing as a parent???

Today was one of those days.

Today was the school talent quest.  Thinking it would be awesome I entered Ashlea into it.  She was going to sing Let It Go with her best buddy Jack.  It had the potential to be awesome.  I mean - how cute are those too?  And Ashlea can actually sing!

They practised together at school and were fantastic.

We were all excited.

I got special permission to go and watch and film them in action.

What could possibly go wrong...?

Let me tell you.... let us count the ways.

Cut to concert day.

It was stinking hot.  It was noisy.  She was overwhelmed.

The music started to play...

No singing.

At first she tussled with the teacher over possession of the microphone, but even once she got possession of it....still no singing.

We all waited expectantly but it just got worse by the moment.  Poor Jack was trying to sing and couldn't work out why his partner was going down in flames.  She had her fingers in her ears and was wailing, coughing, choking and turning bright red.

It was horrifying to watch.

Audrey was in the audience sobbing.

Emma and I were staring in open-mouthed in horror.  Emma told me later she wanted to run up on stage and sing with them.  That would have been the PERFECT redeeming feature but she was scared she'd get into trouble at school so she didn't risk it.  In hindsight there are so many things we could have done to redeem the situation but we were all too stunned at the time.

Now I know I shouldn't be surprised by an Ashlea meltdown because Ashlea is nothing if not unpredictable!  I just had my hopes up.  It was such a great opportunity for people to get to really see her - and to get to see her not as Ashlea with a disability, but as Ashlea performing on stage with her friend.

The opposite happened.  Her disabilities were highlighted not diminished.  I feel like I set her up to fail.

It was truly horrifying.

And disappointing.

And sad.

And frustrating.

Apparently Ashlea sang it perfectly when they got back to class.  Why doesn't that surprise me?

Today I am thanking God for:

1110.   How late our local council comes to collect the rubbish as we forgot to put our bins out last night;

1111.   A good friend;

1112.  Chocolate coated ice creams.  I may have needed several after the concert fiasco.

Psalm 100:2 
Worship the Lord with gladness; 
 come before him with joyful songs.


The Trousdell Five said...

Oh Alison, I'm so sorry that happened. Don't lose sight of the fact you had THE BEST intentions and sometimes life is painfully unpredictable. I hope you ate a whole lot of chocolate! And bless Emma for wanting to save the day!

Heda said...

Never mind. In the scheme of things this is a very small blip. By tomorrow you will feel much better, by this time next week it will be part of family history, and by her 18th birthday you will all be laughing when you tell this story.

Alicia - OneMotherHen said...

Aaaw, sorry it didn't turn out the way you saw it. It would have been extremely cute though. It just wasn't Ashleas day to shine. She will have her day x

Therese said...

I think sometimes we lose the sight of how we really are, and I think that you do a great job as a mum (from what I read anyhow). I think sometimes as kids, they want to push themselves out of their comfort zone, but her not doing it is no reflection on you. In fact all the things that she DOES achieve ARE a reflection on you, and Murray, and the support you and your families give you.
Glad she got to do it in her classroom and that it all went well.

Anonymous said...

I hope there are many great performances to come! From Fay